The facts of the case were this:
I visited a catholic church in rutherglen to pray (as you do) and to seek the sanctity of its quietness - a gumby came up behind me and knuckle-dusted me on my spine! He was a worthless locust!

Later I visited the catholic church to inform them that I was knuckle-dusted by a wide boy IN A CHURCH!! The priest aged ~ 55 was more concerned I had been drinking as he could smell my breath. I was not drunk. I tried to intercede to tell him that I was knuckle-dusted by the jsb. The young 'priest's' brain switched to overload and I was about to be Poped out that I turned away and shouted, 'Knuckle-dusted by the locusts!' I departed cooly to find a quiet bar with good Guinness & good customer service at the nearby hotel. I tried to enlighten him that his church was infiltrated by a senile delinquent not educated (a neds) when the locusts spiked me on my spine.
The End.