Inside, there was no such calmness - it was complete emotion both physically and mentally. By homing instinct I managed to find the railway station and there I stood on the concourse of the station - motionless, eyes pinned to the destinations board looking for Calais.
And there it appeared - I looked left, looked right and dashed for the
safety of the train. I stayed quiet and calm looking for a quiet and calm compartment - as I knew, 'If your enemy is superior, evade him - escape & evasion.' I found a vacant compartment to Calais. I survived.
Scott, my eldest brother, was living and working in Hemel Hempstead and I made it back to the safety of his shelter. On the way there I scoffed on a fish supper with a smoked sausage and two gerkins. On my return home it was revealed that the French were part of the Union of the Allied Forces and there was no evidence of French Connections with the Argentinians.
For eight years I never opened up to tell anyone what happened on that day in Lille until I decided an intelligent German lass - Scott's wife - seemed a suitable person to reveal it to and move on with my life. If I hadn't revealed it to someone then my mental torture would still be punishing me.
In essence, these things must be said to a friend otherwise your mental state can kill you. I was getting not nightmares but flashbacks lasting five minutes or so.
By 2006 I found mental health charities in Scotland. They are stress management organisations who provide for cognitive behavioural therapy; anxiety management and anger management etc. They give unconditional positive
regard. These are: the Samaritans; Combat Stress; Rethink; a Trauma Counselling telephone service and the Scottish Association for Mental Health.
I passed the examination - 92%
Steph Anderson ©
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